I am overwhelmed with disappointment so much so that I don't feel anything else at all. I hate how school makes me sad. I hate how screwed up school life is. I am having second thoughts again. I have failed enough papers to get me into ssp. The only consolation is that at least I'm still feeling something about failures, I'm not used to failing yet. Lunch break was really nice. I love you. A lot. :) 

Okaaaaaaay I'm going to pick myself up from here. I'm going to mug biology tonight and see how things go, for as long as I can take it. 

I don't want to TGIF today :( 

Happy holidays are ending sigh. 

**

This feeling, so.. surreal.
Today is the saddest day of my life. It says "0!" on my phone's note which I use to countdown to ballet exam. Ten years... and that's it. I'm never going back to ballet again. Maybe there will be lessons until the end of March but I'm not sure. But today marks the end of everything. Kind of. I don't really know. Ten years passed really quickly. I was telling the whole world how my exams are coming when I first got the letter in December. And then... it's over just like that. JUST LIKE THAT. You know, anticlimax? I'm never going to do any RAD exams again.

On another note, this was probably the best exam I've ever done. I was having a lot of fun. I like how I'm the only one in the room with the examiner and the pianist. Both whom I don't really give a damn about. Cliche, but I just danced like I never did before. So much so that I forgot myself, forgot about everything... and screwed up Poetique. I couldn't balance !@#$%^ I hope I don't fail Poetique. This is one ass grade that if you fail one dance, you're doomed for the entire exam. In another words, you fail. 

This was the first time I went for an exam without my best friend. I had her skirt with me though. Is this fate? Hahahaha. Anyhow I want to pass, like merit would suffice. Please please please. I could've done better but I have no regrets because I really enjoyed myself a lot. I like how I waited for the bell to ring. Damn it this experience is priceless. And I had probably half the bottle of gel on my hair. Nice. It still stinks of gel and it has the stiffy feeling even after two washes. Heck I don't really care anymore. 

And like ten thousand people wished me. Diana Chan didn't wish me (!!!!) I bet she forgot like how she forgot her other two good friends' birthday. She's going to be so guilty, yet again. But it's okay I love her the same. Anyway, I love all of you so much. From the bottom of my heart. (Yes Rachel, the correct side of my heart.) Oh and I was texting Rachel in between my dances like... "OMGOMGOMOMG TWO DOWN, TWO MORE TO GO." "I JUST FINISHED THE FIRST DANCE BABYYYY." HAHAHAHAH wahlao 45 minutes went really quickly. Saul prayed for Clara and I before the exam.
I don't know what to do next, maybe I would learn how to play the violin. My close friends would know why. I'm such a bitch HAHAHAHA. 

Tomorrow's Vanessa's group exam! Clara and I are going down to support them. Love the girls so much :) Tomorrow's "-1" on my phone, KIDDINGGGG. 

Btw today's also 4 years later. Btw march holidays is ending god damn it.

TOMORROW'S THE DAY.
MY GRADE 8 MINI SOLO SEAL AWARD BALLET EXAM IS TOMORROW AFTERNOON. I AM ALREADY FREAKING OUT PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO WISH ME ALL THE BEST I AM ETERNALLY TOUCHED.

I'M GOING TO TURN IN NOW. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A MILLION YEARS.
GOODNIGHT WORLD.

Repeat a million times:
I don't really care.

♥

 

I already miss the girls so much. I miss sitting outside with them while waiting for our turns to enter the room during rehearsal. We would talk about so much that Mr Cheong had to ask us to keep quiet. I would be practising with the music coming from inside while hearing their chatters. I miss going to ballet 3 hours earlier just to practise and then have dinner with the girls. Either Korean food downstairs or we would pack subway/KFC up to the studio to eat. I miss talking nonsense with Vanessa. Oh, we just realised that we were at the exact same places on 5th July 08 - my favouritest day. I will miss holding her hands, I will miss her complaining to me about physics, I will miss us arguing whose taller when we're in fact, supposedly the same height. And the sponge joke lol. I don't know why but the class that I was with for almost 9 years never gave me this feeling before. Really odd that I feel so much, as if they're the ones with me for the past 10  years. Shrugs I guess that's life - people come as easily as they go. They'll be the batch I will never forget. 

♥

I HAVE THE NICEST FRIENDS ON EARTH WHO...

1. Give me morning wake-up calls when I need them.
2. Come all the way to town just to accompany me.
3. Make me laughs 24/7
4. Laugh with me about the lamest things.
5. Send me random text messages.
6. Is very cute.
7. Talk to me on the phone till I need to go.
8. Sit with me at the coffee bean, talking about life.
9. I will never ever get sick of.







Life would never be the same without all of you  ♥
You know what, COPEG HERE I COME. I'm going to conquer you now. 

Two posts in a night. Not good. I'm bored. 

I'm supposed to be sleeping but I can't seem to. I got up to read newspaper and continue to upload stupid videos on facebook. Go check them out. They're quite retarded to us. But then again, maybe it's just to us only. I really miss last night.

My phone battery is running out and the charger's not with me damn it. 

I've been wanting to play lan since yesterday. Or technically, two days ago since it's 1.10 AM now. We almost went in to play if not for our uniforms. Suckfest. I need a punching bag, like kill something or bash up something. That's why counter-strike kind of came to my mind then. I swear we almost went in. Sigh this is life. 

Or red alert 3, or generals. Anyone? Only guys play such stuffs la god damn it. I wish I had a sissy though, it would be fun. I miss the brother. Tuition tomorrow at 9.30. I have no damn plans after that. It's either this or that or that. I don't know. I feel like a lost sheep now (meh) I wish Diana was here. I'm just rambling on and on. One week passes damn quickly. Before I know it, I would be here again next week complaining how school's going to start in two days. I remember last week. I remember we collected our chinese A's. 

This week went by reallyyyyyy slowly. I bet it's the doing of terms. Btw I screwed 2/5 papers. Which is good enough to get me into SSP. Bloody hell. I thought yesterday was the 13th, which explains the bad day but oh well I thought wrongly. Goodnight livejournal, thank you for tolerating my incoherent ramblings.